Ashton Kutcher is Cheating on This

  

Seen here doing her best Buffalo Bill impression – “Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me. I’d fuck me hard.” – Demi Moore is apparently getting two-timed by Ashton Kutcher if you consider Star a reliable source, and that he’d be retarded enough to do it right outside of Madeo where Harvey Levin sleeps with Read More …

Lindsay Finally Pays Her $16,000 Clothing Tab!

Remember how Lindsay Lohan was being sued over a HUGE unpaid bill by an El Lay boutique called Church?

Well, the case has just been dismissed!

Apparently Lindsay has forked over the $16,880.63 and then some for all the trouble she’s caused them, so Church has agreed to drop the suit.

We’re impressed!

Lets see if this good behavior lasts.

[Image via XposurePhotos.com.]

Friend: Angelina Would Back Jen in Bill-O Battle

Filed under: Celebrity Fights, Gut Reactions, Movie News, TV News, Naughty But Nice, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Aniston has a friend in Angelina Jolie when it comes to her war of words with FOX News host Bill O’Reilly, who shocked many Tuesday night by calling the actress “destructive to society” for saying women don’t need men to be good mothers, a … Read more

 

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Uma Thurman movie is mother of all flops

A film about a stressed-out mother, featuring Hollywood superstar Uma Thurman, has been withdrawn from show in Britain after just 11 cinema goers turned up to see it in its opening weekend.

Motherhood managed to gross $14 from the lone viewer who turned up on the British debut Sunday. Takings for the full weekend hit $140.

The figures mean the film outflopped even its dismal performance back in the U.S, where it took just over $65,000 when it opened last September.

Kill Bill 2, by contrast, one of Thurman’s greatest hits, made $22.3m in America on its opening weekend in 2004.

Motherhood also has appearances by Minnie Driver and Jodie Foster.

British critic Barry Norman, said it was “astonishing” that only 11 people could be bothered to go and see a film starring Thurman. “The reviews were very poor indeed but that alone isn’t enough to explain it.”

Metrodome, the firm responsible for marketing the film, said it believed the DVD would do better than the cinema release.

When told of the takings in Britain, Jana Edelbaum, the film’s producer, replied: “You’re kidding? We must have broken a new record for grosses.”

She said she would demand an explanation from Metrodome. “Motherhood is not bad. It’s a very decent movie.”

James O’Keefe: Profile of a Right-Wing Nut in Facebook Pictures [Teabuggers]

James O’Keefe, the Teabugger/conservative rapscallion is pleading guilty to reduced charges for sneaking into a Senator’s office to do… something. He once “investigated” ACORN. So we’ve conducted an in-depth, O’Keefe style psychological “investigation” of him, using only his Facebook pictures.

Some might argue that O’Keefe’s ridiculous stunts, and friendship with the odious Andrew Breitbart, come from a life of privilege, a blinkered worldview that can lead only to a disgusting, sneery attitude toward those less fortunate. We thought so too. Until we saw these pictures of a harrowing life spent… ah who are we kidding. He’s as dreadful as you thought.

Here he is, decked out like Gordon Gekko, puffing on a cigar he lit with… a $1 bill. Which, according to Title 18, Section 333 of the United States Code, can garner up to six months in jail.

Here’s the section in full:

“Whoever mutilates, cuts, defaces, disfigures, or perforates, or unites or cements together, or does any other thing to any bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt issued by any national banking association, or Federal Reserve bank, or the Federal Reserve System, with intent to render such bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt unfit to be reissued, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.”

It is apparently enforced by the Secret Service.

This is a one-picture sociological study we’ve titled ‘rich young men who wear blazers and slacks’.

Contrary to appearances, O’Keefe decries privilege! He’s fighting for the common man when he targets organizations set up to help poor people, like ACORN. Indeed, we believe he was talking about hiring an ethnic minority deckhand for his yacht just seconds before this picture was taken.

You can breathe a sigh of relief. O’Keefe’s conservative credentials are now complete. He has a gun. Indeed he brandishes said gun. But there is one image that sums him up above all others. One that forestalls any need for a biography…

Screengrabbed from his Facebook page. How Ayn Rand-ian.

POLITICS: PRESIDENT OBAMA SIGNS HEALTH CARE BILL INTO LAW

Members of the House of Representatives take photographs with their phones as President Barack Obama signs the Affordable Health Care for America Act during a ceremony Tuesday morning with fellow Democrats in the East Room of the White House. The landmark bill was passed by the House of Representatives Sunday after a 14-month-long political battle that left the legislation without a single Republican vote.

The President, introduced by Vice President Joe Biden (who dropped the f-word while congratulating him), dedicated signing the bill to a number of individuals who’ve been affected by inadequacies of the health care system, including his mother and 11-year-old Marcelas Owens, who lost his mother because she couldn’t afford insurance.

While many are celebrating this monumental achievement, of course there are some who are not thrilled about it at all. Fourteen state attorney generals (only one of which is not a Republican) have gone to court to block the health care bill, arguing that it violates the Constitution. According to their lawsuit: “The Constitution nowhere authorizes the United States to mandate, either directly or under threat of penalty, that all citizens and legal residents have qualifying health care coverage.” White House spokesman Robert Gibbs, however, said that lawyers have advised the administration that it would win.

Following the bill signing, the President later spoke at the Department of Interior, where he explained a few misunderstandings about the bill:

I said this once or twice, but it bears repeating: If you like your current insurance, you will keep your current insurance. No government takeover; nobody is changing what you’ve got if you’re happy with it. If you like your doctor, you will be able to keep your doctor. In fact, more people will keep their doctors because your coverage will be more secure and more stable than it was before I signed this legislation.

And now that this legislation is passed, you don’t have to take my word for it. You’ll be able to see it in your own lives. I heard one of the Republican leaders say this was going to be Armageddon. Well, two months from now, six months from now, you can check it out. We’ll look around –- (laughter) — and we’ll see. (Applause.) You don’t have to take my word for it. (Applause.)

Additionally, The Christian Science Monitor has compiled a great guide to understanding just what the health reform bill means in plain English.

Health Care Vote Draws Near, DC’s Crazies Out In Full Force: Babies, Fatties, Death Threats, Paper

There’s much chatter about upcoming final votes on the Health Care bill we’re basically sick—ahem—of hearing about because when people talk about health care they apparently start to go slightly insane. As evidenced by this baby-assisted floor speech.

Representative John Shadegg, a Republican from Arizona, decided it would be for the best of the debate that a child be brought forth and tortured by being used as an exhibit by Rep. Shadegg, as he helped floor members understand something about the health care bill basically ensuring this kid would be broke or dead or addicted to smack or all of the above. Watch as the kid tries to do what I want to do, which is eat the microphone:

Yeah, kid, NOM, indeed. But old people like babies so whatever, nobody blinks at what kind of patent ridiculousness this is. But when the “Fat Pride Community” talks about getting healthy, nobody listens to them, even though they’re 2/3rds of our country. And what do they have to say? It’s not just about getting skinny. O RLY? And who is this talking for them? Professor Bacon, that’s who. Seriously:

“I get so angry when I feel people pushing a weight-loss agenda,” said Linda Bacon, a nutrition professor at City College of San Francisco and author of “Health at Every Size,” a book published last year whose title has become the rallying cry of the fat pride community. “What we’re doing in public health care policy is harmful. We give a direct and clear message that there’s something wrong with being fat.”

Oh, ho, ho! A conspiracy! The tasty-meat industry has infiltrated all walks, it seems! But they might be screwed, as the House has started debate on the current legislative package, which will eventually lead to a vote on something like a 2,000 page bill, the contents of which most Americans seem to think include a provision that says something along the lines of “YOU, SIR, OR MA’AM, ARE GOING TO DIE. WE ARE GOING TO KILL YOU, AND YOU ARE GOING TO ENJOY IT! AND ALSO PAY US TAXES TOO, THANKS!” So they’re getting together and freaking out, screaming mean things at a building where nobody can hear them inside.

“Kill the bill!” a few protesters yelled, egged on by a woman with a megaphone. “You’ll be starting a civil war, you fascist tyrant!” yelled Andrew Beacham, 27, of nearby Falls Church, Va. Mr. Beacham, his hair in a ponytail, said in an interview that he believed Mr. Obama was a fascist because-

I’m sorry, what?

Mr. Beacham, his hair in a ponytail,

Unless he’s fighting for provisions in the health care package to cover taxpayer-supported Bumble and Bumbles, I will stop processing information past that sentence. And he’s not, and I did.

Oh, whatever. If there’s anything nice that these Town Hall meetings have yielded, it’s that we’re no longer shocked and disturbed by the fucked up rhetoric plaguing our national debate. It’s hard to be disappointed once something becomes the standard, no? These guys are just being ridiculous, now. Like this one, who killed a bunch of trees just to prove a point that the bill is long and complicated.

….(The representative) took a foot-high copy of the House bill to the podium when he spoke. “This bill steals freedom, and those of us that believe in freedom have contempt for those who would steal our freedom and contempt for this bill,” he said in a shout, heaving the papers to the ground below the low stage.

What kind of asshole would do that? Let’s go back to the first part of that paragraph…

Representative John Shadegg, a Republican from Arizona..

Oh, you mean, the baby-puppeteer? Yeah. That one.

Forget obesity for a moment. There are thousands of pages in the legislation. Hopefully, there’s at least a milli or two in that thing set aside to look into the causes, effects, and ways to prevent important conversation-born at-large jackassery from infecting our country any further. The biggest health care crisis we’ve experienced in the history of our country is the one we’ve brought upon ourselves since we started talking about health care: that we, and our conversations about things that should matter, are getting patently stupider every time we have them.

Dr. Huxtable Looks A Bit Hefty

Bill Cosby was seen leaving The David Letterman Show last night and he looks…different.

We haven’t seen him out and about in awhile, but he’s really packed on some pounds!

Lay off the pudding pops a bit, Bill! It’s for your own good!

[Image via Fame Pictures.]

Tokio Hotel Take EMAs To The Next Level

Tokio Hotel arrives at the MTV EMAs in Berlin on Thursday (November 5) as frontman Bill Kaulitz sports a major mohawk.

The German band, who will be performing tonight, recently sat down with MTV to talk about their dream girls.

“I think it has to be a mixture. Maybe the Olsen Twins? I like both. I like Megan Fox as well,” Bill said. “I really believe in love at first sight though. I don’t know. I don’t have ‘famous girls’ that I like.”

“And Beyonce and Jessica Alba too,” Tom, guitarist and Bill’s twin brother, said. Luckily for Tom, B is performing at tonight’s EMAs!

10+ pictures inside of Tokio Hotel arriving at the MTV EMAs…

Tokio Hotel Get Epic With MTV Europe Music Awards Performance

Band pays tribute to Berlin Wall’s fall during hometown performance.
By James Montgomery

src="http://www.mtv.com/shared/promoimages/bands/t/tokio_hotel/091105_ema/281x211.jpg"/>



Tokio Hotel’s Tom Kaulitz and Bill Kaulitz perform at the European Music Awards on Thursday


Photo: Jeff Kravitz/ FilmMagic

Tokio Hotel’s Bill and Tom Kaulitz were just 2 months old when the Berlin Wall, which for decades had separated Germany into two separate political states, came tumbling down. Twenty years later, in the same city, they decided to pay tribute to that momentous event with their performance at the 2009 MTV Europe Music Awards on Thursday (November 5).

Taking the stage silhouetted only by four spotlights, as their hometown fans screamed with delight, Tokio Hotel began the somber buildup of “World Behind My Wall,” a track from their just-released Humanoid album. Backed by a video display that showed the symbolic dissolving of a brick wall, frontman Bill Kaulitz — wearing dark wraparound shades and a tight black leather jacket — sang the opening refrains, the crowd joining him on each syllable.

He then removed the sunglasses and strode across the stage, joining his TH bandmates — including bassist Georg Listing on piano — as the song began to pick up steam. Bill’s brother (and Tokio Hotel guitarist) Tom worked a decidedly Edge-ian melody out of his ax, and drummer Gustav Schafer pounded hard on his kit.

“Wall” built to a fiery crescendo, with Bill screaming the chorus inches from his brother’s face, as an image of the Berlin Wall itself appeared on the video screen. As the song hit its most massive section, the stage was filled with licks of pyro, streams of red lasers and massive explosions, as Bill thrust his fist skyward and sang the chorus loudly.

And just as quickly and massively as it built, the song disappeared into the night, and TH stood triumphantly in the middle of the stage, amps still smoking, Listing plinking out the song’s final notes on a piano engulfed in flames.

It was a fitting tribute, indeed.

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